Bonjour Bliss: #wedding wednesday

Bonjour Bliss: #wedding wednesday: This is such an exciting post for me, it is our first of a fun sequence deemed #weddingwednesday! Every wednesday from now till August I wi...

The Daily Regimen for My Anxiety/Depression

This is a list of all the various medications and such I take on a regular basis that keep my brain in sane condition.  Probably won't be interesting to many but to that one person it might make all the difference in the world to know these things.

150mg Lamictal.    (Mood stabilizer)
100-200mg Wellbutrin.    ( depression)
300mg Krill oil.   (Brain health)
100mg Zoloft.  (Social anxiety)
100mg 5-htp.  (Mood & relaxation)
440mg Mind Trac.  (Brain food)
1000mg L-Tyrosine.  (Amino acid)
1000mg GABA.  (Amino acid)

I also take Relora & vitamin C for anxiety as needed.  I also use essential oils for any number of mental, emotional, physical dilemmas.
     

What is neurovitaldeficiency disorder?

FLASHBACK:  March 2010
I really feel that although positive affirmations seemed only damaging when I was a teenager, that now they will help me.  I feel as though my brain is in a position whereby thinking positive will produce the chemicals (learn to produce the chemicals) I need to feel peace and not depression - or others feelings and frustrations associated with brain defects.

I know rationally it's against the course of nature for my brain to be healed of this nearly life-long illness.  Hence, I am praying for a miracle.  This being my affirmation:

Plenty of people have had miraculous lives - overcoming all odds.  Who's to say that I can't be one of them?

What is neurovitaldeficiency disorder?

I like this friendly looking guy.

Enough Energy

FLASHBACK- May 12, 2013

The past few weeks have been rather overwhelming as with work we have been trying to learn new things, programs, developing skills in photography, marketing, interest business and design.
Of course all these things take that which I have an abnormally limited amount- mental energy.  So these past few weeks I've felt a lot of frustration and been praying and hoping for miracles and just general worry about how to do what I want with my limitations.
And then yesterday morning a sweet voice of inspiration spoke to me saying,

Destry, what are you doing being frustrated with everything you don't have when you can do so much with what energy you do have?

I remembered how I have been able to do tons more than I ever thought or could imagine ever being possible in my lifetime!  I mean, my goal in life had become mere survival- let alone ambition!
I feel truly blessed to have had that revelation tht changed my view from "glass half empty" to "glass half full" in only moments time.
I have also been blessed by various affirmations that are making me into the kind of person that can be successful in business.  Only weeks ago I felt so entirely inadequate as an entire being to DARE enter a world of business- a.k.a. people.

Operation Eliminate Excess Cortisol

TODAY


I'm on a mission to find out how to eliminate the excess cortisol from my body.  I think that's a big thing that is giving me anxiety.  Why?  Because I won't even be stressed out and my body will still be tense and on-edge for no reason.  Like I'll be watching a peaceful movie to relax and I'll still be so intense about it.  I really think this is caused by cortisol problems.  So last night I looked up what to do to get rid of it.
   
 An article I read:

Six Tips To Reduce The Stress Hormone Cortisol 

     1. Eliminate caffeine from your diet. It’s the quickest way to reduce cortisol production and elevate the production of DHEA, the leading anabolic youth hormone. 200 mg of caffeine (one 12 oz mug of coffee) increases blood cortisol levels by 30% in one hour! Cortisol can remain elevated for up to 18 hours in the blood. This is the easiest step to decrease your catabolic metabolism and increase your anabolic metabolism.

     2. Sleep deeper and longer. The average 50 year old has nighttime cortisol levels more than 30 times higher than the average 30 year old. Try taking melatonin, a natural hormone produced at night that helps regulate sleep/wake cycles, before going to sleep to boost your own melatonin production that also decreases with age. You may not need it every night, but if you are waking up in the middle of the night or too early in the morning, melatonin can help you sleep deeper and lengthen your sleep cycle. If you get sleepy during the day even though you had plenty of rest, back off the melatonin for a while. It’s a sign you are getting too much.

     3. Exercise regularly to build muscle mass and increase brain output of serotonin and dopamine, brain chemicals that reduce anxiety and depression. Cherniske recommends taking DHEA supplements to shorten the adaptation period when out-of-shape muscles and cardiovascular system discourage people from continuing to exercise before they get in shape. DHEA also accelerates the building of muscle mass and increases the feeling of being strong and energetic.

     4. Keep your blood sugar stable. Avoid sugar in the diet and refined carbohydrates to keep from spiking your insulin production. Eat frequent small meals balanced in protein, complex carbohydrates and good fats like olive oil and flax seed oil. Diets rich in complex carbohydrates keep cortisol levels lower than low carbohydrate diets. Keep well hydrated – dehydration puts the body in stress and raises cortisol levels. Keep pure water by your bed and drink it when you first wake up and before you go to sleep.

     5. Take anti-stress supplements like B vitamins, minerals like calcium, magnesium, chromium and zinc, and antioxidants like vitamin C, alpha lipoic acid, grapeseed extract, and Co Q 10. Adaptogen herbs like ginseng, astragalus, eleuthero, schizandra, Tulsi (holy basil) rhodiola and ashwagandha help the body cope with the side effects of stress and rebalance the metabolism. These supplement and herbs will not only lower cortisol levels but they will also help you decrease the effects of stress on the body by boosting the immune system.

     6. Meditate or listen to relaxation tapes that promote the production of alpha (focused alertness) and theta (relaxed) brain waves. Avoid jolting alarm clocks that take you from delta waves (deep sleep) to beta waves (agitated and anxious) and stimulants like caffeine that promote beta waves while suppressing alpha and theta waves.

For a deeper exploration of the role of cortisol and the consequences of long-term elevation of stress hormones in the body, read The Cortisol Connection by Shawn Talbott, Ph.D. and The Metabolic Plan by Stephen Cherniske, M.S.

A lot of these things I've tried.  But they didn't seem to have much effect.  I don't drink caffeine at all.  Done.  With my sleeping, I already regulate my anxiety by adjusting my alarm settings so that if I've been anxious I'll turn the volume quiet and have it just be the radio.  Exercise,  that's an interesting thing and could be tinkered with.  So back in the summer I decided to try exercising to release stress.  I ended up going running.  Now, when I'm depressed I get really into running- I guess because its the only thing that will wake me up.  I'm scared to work out too hard because last time I got into running (a few months ago) I was feeling really good about things and the fact that I could go running and not end up exhausted after.  Well then after 3 months I crashed major.  Like a depressive-phase.  I usually don't have such manic-depressive symptoms anymore, but it was awful.

So I get "night-sweats" I guess you could call them.  Where I'll wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat- regardless of the temperature in my room.  I NEVER sweat.  I can't even make myself sweat!  Even when I exercise crazy I barely sweat.  I'm thinking maybe this is a way that my body gets rid of the excess cortisol.  Because my body usually feels pretty relaxed when I wake up in the morning.  And it's such a strange thing.  It would be nice if I had access to a sauna.  I know that when I get really hot- then I relax, followed by getting tired.  It would be a nice way to control my anxiety. I truly believe that sweating is an important way to eliminate toxins from the body.  I just can't get myself to sweat enough!

I'm wondering if maybe I could just do a simple yoga routine and that would be enough.  The only thing is- I hate it!  I hate exercising and I've found that if an activity is helpful usually I can tell.
 

New Year's Eve Sociality

TODAY:
There is something about conversation that eludes me.  It's not psychological either.  There is something distinct with my brain that makes conversation difficult.  I will elaborate later.  At any rate, I had a date with a friend last night.  I don't like being one-on-one with other people for conversational purposes.  It's difficult for me to follow what they are saying quickly enough to respond at the normal rate which people converse in.  I enjoy being with this guy but until this point I've tried to keep our interaction to being with a group of people so I didn't have the conversation issue and discomfort.  But last night I tried it.  I was fun, but I used a lot of anxiety.  I was practically shaking.  But I didn't want to just sit there and say nothing and I probably would have if I hadn't been anxious because I was feeling rather dead in the brain before I wend to dinner with him.  After dinner we had planned to watch a movie but I was too frazzled and uncomfortable to.  I just wanted to have a calm mind again.  So I left.  I had to.  When I'm stressed my peace of mind is more valuable than anything to me.  I went home and watched boring tv and concentrated on relaxing my back so I could feel peace again.  It was a tough decision to make in such an anxious, fearful state.  But once I got home and settled down and back to my peace, I knew it was a good decision.