There is something about conversation that eludes me. It's not psychological either. There is something distinct with my brain that makes conversation difficult. I will elaborate later. At any rate, I had a date with a friend last night. I don't like being one-on-one with other people for conversational purposes. It's difficult for me to follow what they are saying quickly enough to respond at the normal rate which people converse in. I enjoy being with this guy but until this point I've tried to keep our interaction to being with a group of people so I didn't have the conversation issue and discomfort. But last night I tried it. I was fun, but I used a lot of anxiety. I was practically shaking. But I didn't want to just sit there and say nothing and I probably would have if I hadn't been anxious because I was feeling rather dead in the brain before I wend to dinner with him. After dinner we had planned to watch a movie but I was too frazzled and uncomfortable to. I just wanted to have a calm mind again. So I left. I had to. When I'm stressed my peace of mind is more valuable than anything to me. I went home and watched boring tv and concentrated on relaxing my back so I could feel peace again. It was a tough decision to make in such an anxious, fearful state. But once I got home and settled down and back to my peace, I knew it was a good decision.
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